GRAVITY
by Sweet-Tahira
Summary: The Moments that truly define who we are and what we are capable of becoming... Lucas & Peyton trying to find their Gravity.
1. The Things You Give Away

Gravity

Chapter One: Things you give Away

"He gave her my ring." The statement sounded so broken in its simplicity. Brook looked up at her friend standing in the doorway of their kitchen and furrowed her brow not sure she wanted Peyton to continue… not with the look on her face. The last time she had seen her friend she was off to declare her love for her man and live happily ever after. That was an hour ago.

"Peyton…"

"He gave her… he gave her my ring, Brook." She whispered not noticing Brook take the steps across the room till she was standing right in front of her. She looked up sadly, tears shining brightly in her green eyes. Shaking her head sadly in complete disbelief she inhaled sharply. "He asked her to marry him and he gave her my ring… I know it was my ring… I just knew." She remarked closing her eyes as though it ached to speak. "Why… why would he do that?" She asked almost as though she really expected an answer. "I don't… I don't know… what to do now." Her words broke off into sobs as Brook wrapped her arms around her.

"Hey… hey… it's okay." She felt as Peyton's legs gave out and followed her to the ground still hugging her tightly. Running her hand over her hair she rocked them back and forth in a soothing rhythm. "Shhhh… it's going to be alright." She whispered into the stillness of the night hoping for once that she was right.

Meanwhile…

Looking over at his now sleeping new fiancée he stared at her for a moment before slipping out of bed. Grabbing a pair of boxers from his drawer he slipped into them and a white T-shirt before leaving the room. Going to the kitchen he stopped at the fridge, his hand on the handle. He was gripping it so tight that his knuckles were white.

The image of her face kept replaying itself across his mind's eye. The way she stared at him as though broken… as if he had broken her; he wondered if perhaps that was the look he had given her that night three years ago when he proposed and she said no.

Taking a step back he leaned into the counter running his hand through his hair in frustration. How did this happen? How did he end up here… how did they?

It was weird how events sort of just transpire one on top of the other until you find yourself at a place you never once believed you would be in. He had always imagined his life with Peyton, even when he was dating Brook or pursuing someone else; in the end, deep down in his heart he always believed that he and Peyton would be together. It was just fate. It was a fact of life… like gravity. It was just something that was always there and if it wasn't then obviously you were no longer on Earth. So how did they get so far away from that path; from that life?

'Luke…"

Looking up he watched her for a moment…

She was a good woman. She loved him. She cared about him and believed in him without hesitation or question. She wanted a life with him. She wanted to be with him and there was no convincing that needed to be done. He asked her for her hand in marriage and she accepted without a second thought. She said yes… she didn't say no…

She didn't say 'someday'.

She was ready to be Mrs. Lucas Scott right now in this moment.

Peyton wasn't… not then…

And it was too late now…

She came to him wrapping her arms around his neck and snuggling her body close to his. Her hands ran up and down his back as she brushed her cheek against his. Her smooth flesh rubbed against the scruffiness of his chin. He embraced her in return and felt the emptiness in his chest.

It was too late now… wasn't it?


	2. Those that are Here Those that are Not

Gravity

Chapter Two: Those that are Here…Those that are Not

She told herself a long time ago that people always leave. She wasn't sure when she started to believe that but she remembered quite clearly when she stopped. She knew the exact moment when she abandoned that mentality and started to have faith that maybe… just maybe people didn't always leave… didn't always walk away or die…

"…_it doesn't matter if I stay or I go… I'm going to love you forever Lucas Scott."_

"…_because I had to come back and look in those green eyes of yours and tell you that I love you… You didn't push me away. I came back for you and no matter how long it takes… I'll wait for you."_

"_Where are they all now? Even my dad works a million miles away."_

"… _none of those people are Lucas." Haley pointed out._

It's interesting that it had been Haley's words that had forced her to see that maybe there really was a forever considering the confrontation they had earlier.

With a sardonic smile she placed her hands in her jeans pockets as she continued to pace the River Court. She had come here to clear her head, to calm herself…to be closer to him. Swallowing hard she exhaled a deep breath. Looking around at the empty court she felt the tears come to her eyes. She knew that she had done the right thing. Sacrifice was apart of loving someone. Stepping aside so that the person that mattered most to you could be happy… that's what Keith had done for Karen… and that's what she would do for Luke. Brushing the back of her hand across her cheek she felt herself choke slightly on her own sob.

Doing the right thing had never felt so hard.

Meanwhile…

'Tacky!"

Looking up he felt his eyebrows rise up into his hairline. There was Brook standing in the doorway of his office. "Am I not wearing the latest Coaching attire?" He joked and saw her shake her head not amused.

"That's cute, Lucas! That's really cute!" She stated walking over the threshold and placing her purse on his desk as she sat herself down in a chair crossing her legs and resting her hands on her knees.

"Why thank you!" He shot back realizing that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation. "I'm guessing you're not here to congratulate me on my engagement."

She shrugged slightly. "I don't know… how do you think Lindsey would feel if I said 'Congrats on your engagement Lindsey! By the way I love that ring… you know Lucas bought one just like it for Peyton three years ago!" She remarked sarcastically with a shake of her head. "I mean really Lucas… did you think she wouldn't know?" She asked incredulously.

"How would she know; she never even looked at it!" He shot back somewhat bitterly.

"Is that why you did it? Is that why you asked Lindsey to marry you?"

"I asked Lindsey to marry me because I love her."

"But you're in love with Peyton!"

"Peyton said no!"

"So you just decide to propose to the next warm body?!" She shot back.

"It's been three years Brook! I get to move on. I have a right to be happy with someone else!" He shouted angrily.

Nodding her head slightly she smirked. "You're right… you do… You have every right to be happy. And if marrying Lindsey really is what makes you happy then by all means Lucas go and be happy with her. But don't marry her just to stick it to your ex-girlfriend." She remarked.

Placing his hands on his hips he let out a tired sigh. "This had nothing to do with Peyton!" He replied again.

Staring him in the eye she shook her head. "If that's true… then why the ring? Why give Lindsey that ring?!" She asked softly. "You may be able to lie to your fiancée and to yourself but you can't lie to the person who knows you the way that I do. You can't lie to the person who watched you lose it in a hotel room the same day that Peyton didn't give you the answer that you wanted when you proposed! Don't stand there and tell me that this doesn't have anything to do with her because it has _everything_ to do with Peyton. Everything that you do has to do with Peyton and sooner or later Lindsey is going to figure that out." Shaking her head she took a stand grabbing her purse off his desk and tucking it under her arm. "You know in a way I almost feel sorry for Lindsey… I know what it's like to be where she is… to think that somehow your love will be strong enough to come between the entity that is Lucas and Peyton… it's a painful place to be… I just hope that she has someone the way that I did." She stated, turning on her heel she began to walk away when his voice stopped her.

"She said that she would let me be happy. She said that she's letting me go."

"If you think that's possible… you're a bigger fool than I thought." And with that she was gone.

Meanwhile…

She found her sitting behind her desk looking extremely busy. "Hey… got a minute?"

Looking up she cleared her throat softly staring at Haley. Their last conversation had been borderline civil and truthfully she wasn't up for another bashing quite yet. "Actually I'm sort of busy… can it wait?" She asked already beginning to look over the papers again.

Nodding Haley turned to leave but then came back as was her way when she felt that things needed to be dealt with. "Look I just… I just wanted to say that I was sorry."

She continued to look over the papers as though the statement wasn't a big deal. "Apology accepted." The statement was dismissive and they both heard it.

Shaking her head she walked further into the office. "Peyton come on. It's not like what I said was completely untrue." She pointed out.

The pencil in her hands snapped and a humorless laugh left her lips. "You have got to be kidding me!" Shaking her head she looked up at the brunette. "Haley the last time that I checked I always wanted Lucas to be happy! I always wanted him to have everything that he wished for." She remarked hotly.

"As long as it was with you." She shot back.

"Unbelievable! You know what I'm not going to apologize for wanting a life with him."

"That's just it Peyton. You didn't want a life with him. He asked you to marry him and you said no!"

"I said someday! Someday, as in sometime in the future… all I asked for was one year to make something of my life and somehow… someday turns into never! What is with the two of you? Are you both operating off of the same hearing aid?"

"Lucas wanted to be with you and you turned him down and now he has someone who is ready… right now in this moment and you want to take that away from him! How is that fair to him Peyton? How is that wanting him to be happy?"

Walking around the desk she shook her head sadly. "You know… think what you want Haley. I can't take you back in time and show you how everything played out that night Lucas proposed. I can't make you understand what I said to him or how I was feeling. I understand that you're his best friend… I get that. I know that all you want to do is protect him and that's fine… you are on Lucas's side no matter what but what I don't get is why you feel you have to pick a side between me and Lindsey." She remarked staring her in the eye.

"What? What are you talking about Peyton?" She asked as if she didn't understand.

"It's true. I get that she's your friend but I thought that we were friends too but it seems like ever since I got here anytime something happens between me and Lindsey you automatically feel that you have to choose whose side you're on. I have never asked you to do that… nor have I ever implied that I wanted you to… but you just keep doing it. I mean you tell me that I'm not allowed to be mad at her, you tell me that I'm not allowed not to like her… you throw the fact that you're her matron of honor in my face… I mean I don't get it."

There was a slight pause as both women faced off. "She's a good woman Peyton… and I think of how I would feel if I were her. The same way I thought of how I would feel if I had been Brook. I would be devastated if someone did to me what you are doing to Lindsey and what you did to Brook." It was an honest statement that was long overdo.

Nodding slowly she felt the smirk faintly cross her lips. "Funny… I think it's real funny that you can stand there and judge me and hold something against me that had nothing to do with you when you went off and left your husband behind while you went on tour with someone that you knew he didn't trust! You left him to self-destruct and when you came back… I was angry with you but I also let it go… because I knew that it wasn't my place to pass judgment… something you obviously never learned!"

There was a silence that settled over them as both women stared the other in the eye reevaluating the friendship that didn't seem so friendly anymore.

"Hey P. Sawyer I need to talk…" Brook's voice trailed off as she realized that she had just walked in on something. "Ooookay… feeling kind of tense in here. Someone want to explain to me what's going on?" She asked coming to stand between the blond and the brunette.

Crossing her arms over her chest she sighed. "Haley just came by to drop off some information. She was just leaving." Peyton stated looking away beginning to tinker with a few items on her desk.

"Yeah… I'll see you later Brook." She didn't wait for a response making a quick exit.

Watching her go Brook turned to Peyton… "Alright Peyton… explain to me what just happened."

Shrugging with a heavy sigh her eyes landed on the empty doorway where Haley had just left. "People always leave Brook; hell sometimes… they were never truly here in the first place."


	3. Questions Promises and all that Jenga

A/N Thanks so much for the replies. I'm really glad that you guys like the story. I know that it doesn't seem like is now but I really do like the character of Haley. In fact if I wasn't such a huge Leyton fan I think they would be my next dream couple for OTH. But that's besides the point… like I was saying I do like Haley and I do plan to bring her character around full circle, the same with all of the characters in this story it's just taking time… okay enough talking hope you guys like! Oh and please know that Lucas will reappear in the next chapter front and center.

Gravity

Chapter Three: Questions, Promises, and all that Jenga

"Do you think I've been a bad friend to Peyton?"

Nathan looked over at his wife as they lay in bed late that evening. Jamie had long ago been put to bed and both Haley and Nathan were now relaxed side by side each contemplating the current predicaments that they were in while pretending to either watch T.V. or grade papers.

"What?" He asked.

"I just… I mean over the past few years do you think that I've been… I don't know… less than fair towards her?" She asked with a furrowed brow.

Exhaling a deep breath he decided to approach the subject in the best way possible. "Do you?" He countered not willing to give an opinion on something that could potentially turn volatile should he say something to set her off. If he were lucky he hoped to do a lot less talking tonight with his wife and any wrong statement could cost him that.

She shrugged slightly. "I don't know. I mean yes I have always been a little guarded since that whole incident with her Brook and Lucas but I mean why is that being unfair?" She asked mainly to herself. "I mean she cheated with her best friend's boyfriend; that's wrong and here she is doing it again!" She pointed out.

"You know she's not alone in her actions." He stated softly knowing he was treading on very dangerous ground.

"What is that suppose to mean?" She asked.

"It's just…well I mean you're not exactly putting up walls when it comes to Lucas and he's no less guilty in what happened between her and Brook or even with Lindsey. You just… you can't just make Peyton the bad guy in all of this. I love my brother but he played his part." He pointed out.

"I know that! You don't think I know that?" She asked hotly.

"I'm just saying that it seems like you're trying to make Peyton out to be some seductive temptress out to manipulate and sabotage poor innocent Lucas and all of his relationships. He's not a victim here Haley."

"I never said that he was but his relationship with Lindsey was just fine until Peyton came back and started messing with his head."

"There you go again; blaming Peyton. Lucas is a big boy… he's smart. He knows what he wants and trust me if him and Lindsey were all that great he wouldn't have kept that ring in his sock drawer for the last three years! He's been waiting on Peyton to come back to him since the moment she turned down his proposal."

"I cannot believe that you are saying this to me." Throwing off the comforter she hopped out of bed. Grabbing her robe off the nearby chair she slipped into the material and tied the belt tightly around her waist.

"What are you doing Haley? Come back to bed." He sat up seeing his chance of spending a blissful night with his wife slip through his fingers. "Don't be this way."

"You're standing there insinuating that your own brother is incapable of commitment! Have you forgotten that he's my best friend? I know Lucas better than anyone and I cannot sit here and believe that for the last three years he's just been biding his time… wishing and waiting for his ex-girlfriend to show up on his doorstep. That wouldn't be fair to Lindsey. I won't believe that he would do that to her." Collecting the remaining un-graded papers in her arms she sighed as Nathan reached out and placed a hand on her flesh.

"I'm not saying that he did it on purpose or that he set out to hurt Lindsey but Haley you can't tell me that you don't see it. You know the truth. Lucas loves Peyton… it's just the way it is. He's still in love with her and that may not be fair to Lindsey but it is the truth and trying to keep Lucas on some pedestal is not going to change that fact. He's human; we're all just human Hales… we can't help who we love." He pointed out trying to diffuse the argument and make her see reason.

"You're right… we may not be able to help who we love but we are able to show a little respect and decency to the people that we claim to care about. Sneaking around behind someone's back is wrong…"

"It was one kiss Haley and I'm sure they both regret it."

"It doesn't make it any less wrong Nathan. It just… it just doesn't." She stated before leaving the room and her husband.

The Next Day…

Taping up the last box in her office she sighed as she straightened up and placed her hands on her hips. Looking around she felt more than a little empty inside. She knew that staying in Lucas's mom's space would not be good for anyone, least of all, her. If she was going to let go of him she had to do it quickly… kind of like pulling off a band-aid. She felt a sardonic smile come to her lips.

Somehow when she thought of coming home this was not how she pictured it would be. If she were honest with herself the truth was that she had expected to come back to Tree Hill and to Lucas. For some reason she believed that she would return and he would be single and like always they would just end up together. Hell she had read the book so many times… really how could their story end any differently?

The tears were in her eyes again and she placed her palm over her lids trying to calm her breathing as her body began to shake with quiet sobs.

The sharp knock and the voice brought her quickly back.

"Hey… I hear some exceptional woman with her own record label works here."

Turning around she let out a surprised laugh as her tears of sorrow suddenly became tears of joy. "Oh my God;… what… what are you doing here?"

He smiled in return taking two steps over the threshold as he removed the hat on his head. "I heard through a source that my sister was in need of her brother… so here I am." Derek remarked and in the next moment Peyton was in his arms hugging him for dear life.

"Oh… I can't… I can't believe you're here."

Embracing her in a brotherly hug he sighed. "Didn't I tell you before I'd always come back?" He whispered in her ear making her cry a little harder overwrought with emotion.

"Yeah… yeah you did." Pulling back she cupped his face in her hands. "Let me just… can I just look at you for a minute?" She asked staring over his face as though it had been a lifetime since she had last seen him. "How did you know?" She asked brokenly.

Reaching up and taking her hands in his own he smiled and looked over his shoulder to where Brook stood in the doorway. "You've got some really awesome friends P. Sawyer." He stated and she smiled.

"Damn right! Now before you two get into who, what, where and why, can we please go get something to eat? I'm starving." Brook stated with a smile.

Looking from her friend to her brother she suddenly didn't feel so bad inside…as though somehow… someway things might just be alright.

A few hours later…

Brother and sister sat together at the kitchen table playing a game of Jenga.

"So… are we going to sit here and do this all night or are you going to tell me what happened?"

She looked up sharply into his brown eyes. "I thought we were playing Jenga!" She stated reaching out and sliding a wooden piece out of its place and placing it on the top. Once secure she smirked. "Your turn."

He exhaled a deep breath looking from her to the wooden tower before him. "You know how I feel about avoidance tactics, Sawyer… I don't do them. So let's cut the charade and talk. The last time we spoke I was under the impression that you and Lucas were doing just fine. You were in L.A. and he was in Tree Hill and you both were trying to live your dreams. Now I'm no rocket scientist but the last letter I got from you was about 8 months ago… but your friend Brook tells me that you and Lucas broke up three years ago… care to explain?"

Fidgeting with her fingers she closed her eyes for a moment. "He left me." She remarked softly. It was the first time that she had ever said those words out loud and now she knew why. They still hurt. Three years later and those three little words still broke her heart.

"I know that. Brooke said that you two broke up…" He began when she stopped him.

"No! We didn't just break up… he left me Derek. He came out one night, proposed… I didn't… I didn't say yes and the next morning he was gone. He… left… me." She stated.

He remained quiet for a moment processing her words and what they meant. For people like them leaving was never simple and it was never okay. It was the worst thing that could be done because it felt like being abandoned and as she looked up and locked eyes with him again they both understood like only they could.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't… I don't even get why he would do that to me, knowing how that makes me feel inside. He didn't… he didn't even say good-bye."

Staring at her for a moment he listened to her words. "Why didn't you tell me, Peyton? In my letters I've asked about Lucas and never once did you mention that you two broke up? Why did you hide that from me?"

She shrugged sadly. "Because I didn't want you to think that I was alone. I didn't want you to worry about your pathetic little sister who… always seems to need to be saved."

"Peyton I have never in all the time that I've known you thought you to be pathetic. I would have wanted to know because I would have wanted to be here for you." Exhaling deeply he moved his chair so that it was next to hers. "You know… we missed out on a lot of time together as brother and sister. I mean we didn't grow up together, or even know about one another until about four and a half years ago but for some reason you get me… the same way that I get you. We understand each other and for people like you and me… that just doesn't happen very often.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that… I want to be the one that gets to worry. I want to be the one that you call when you need someone to talk to and no one in this world seems to understand what you're trying to say. I want to be your brother Peyton… but I'm not going to push. I'm not in the business of making people want to need me or depend on me. You either do or you don't. That's up to you." Taking a stand he stretched out his limbs. "Like I said before I'll always come back… but next time you better be the one to call me. Good-night." He stated with a small smile which she gladly returned. As he began his exit she called out to him.

"How long… how long can you stay?"

Looking over his shoulder he sighed. "For as long as my sister needs me to."

She shrugged slightly. "That might be a while." She shot back.

He mirrored her shrug almost exactly. "Then I guess I'm bunking with my sister and her best friend… I hope neither of you sleepwalk." He joked before leaving her to her thoughts.


	4. The Fearlessness of it All

_**A/N Thanks so much for the replies! I really like Derek as well and I just think that it would be a good way to go to have him return. I hope you guys like this chapter. Remember…replies make me happy!**_

_**Gravity**_

**Chapter Four: The Fearlessness of it All**

Waking early he dressed in a gray t-shirt and black shorts. Donning his sneakers and headphones he readied himself for his morning run. Heading for the door he looked over his shoulder at the woman still sleeping and felt something inside his chest shift. The glint of lighting coming through the window caught the sparkle of the diamond on her ring finger.

'_Why that ring?'_

Brook's words echoed in his ears creating something that felt strangely like guilt inside him. Walking over he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead careful not to disturb her sleep before leaving quickly.

The air was thick with the morning heat and humidity. Placing the headphones on his ears he was just about to turn on his I-pod when the man standing beside his SUV caught his eye. He furrowed his brow at the sight, not totally surprised.

"Derek?" He asked walking across the grass to meet the man.

"Lucas… it's been a while."

"Four years." He remarked looking him over. Marine life had been good to him. Even with his navy blue sweatshirt on and matching shorts, Lucas could tell that Derek had been working out and working hard.

"So I see you're still running… care if I join you?"

Lucas stared at him a moment trying to read something in the other man's eyes but found that there was nothing that he was willing to give away. He knew that coming to Tree Hill was about a lot more than just looking for a running partner but for the moment it seemed that all he was requesting was a bit of his time. He was sure that everything else would come later.

"Sure… fine by me." He remarked accepting the nod from Derek before both men began their light jog down the streets of Tree Hill.

Meanwhile…

Sitting on the balcony of their home she watched the morning sun rise as the streets below grew busy. Raising the mug of coffee to her lips she sipped leisurely.

"Hey there." Brook remarked taking a seat beside her.

Peyton smiled slightly. "Life won't stop will it?" She asked softly.

Brook looked over at her with a furrowed brow. Glancing at her friend Peyton smirked realizing that she had been thinking out loud.

"The world… it doesn't stop. I mean this huge thing in my life just happened and I feel… I feel like I'm free falling and…" exhaling a deep breath she continued. "…it doesn't really matter to anyone but me. It's just… I woke up this morning feeling really empty inside, you know? I made a cup of coffee and came out here to sit and as I watched the sunrise I realized that… the world just keeps on moving. This one incident really isn't that big is it?"

Brook sighed. "Peyton… it's big because it's apart of your life. It matters… your pain matters not only to you but the people that love you." She stated.

The blond nodded though it wasn't very convincing. Looking down into her coffee cup she sighed. "I just… it just dawned on me that I still have a life to live. I still have to go to work. I still need to pick up groceries. It just hit me that as much as I would like it to… life doesn't stop for broken hearts." She exhaled deeply feeling the tears come to her eyes. Looking over at her best friend she gave a slight smile before getting up. "I have to get to the studio. I'll see you later." She began to walk away when she stopped turned around and came back. Leaning in she placed a kiss on the top of her best friend's head. "Thanks for bringing him home Brook." She remarked and was gone before the brunette could reply.

Meanwhile…

They stopped about a block away from Peyton's old house. Breathing hard and covered in a film of sweat Lucas looked over at Derek who seemed to catch his breath faster than anyone he had ever seen. "What are you; a robot?" He asked.

Derek chuckled slightly. "Marine life is a hard life. If I can't run a few miles without being about to pass out then I'm doing something extremely wrong." He joked.

"Yeah… whatever… that's a typical robot answer." He shot back with a smile.

There was a moment of silence as Lucas contemplated his next words carefully. "So you're back for Peyton." He remarked with a heavy sigh.

The older man shrugged. "Is that what you think?" He asked.

"Either that… or to kick my ass!" He stated.

"Have you done something to her to warrant me to kick your ass, Scott?" He shot back.

"She said no to me. She turned me down." He stated.

"So you left her." He remarked simply.

Lucas turned to him. "That's not how it was… It's not that simple."

Derek exhaled a deep breath. "How complicated can it be? You asked her to marry you, she didn't jump into your arms and say yes, so you left." He summed up. Looking at Lucas shake his head he continued. "I'm not here to judge you, or to beat you up for what you did. You got hurt and you hurt her in return."

"I wanted to be with her forever. She's the one that lost faith in me. I never wanted to walk out on her. I never wanted to be like everyone else in her life. I never wanted to be that guy"

"No one ever wants to be that person but somehow it always happens… I didn't want to be that person either but I became one." He responded honestly. "I'm not here to beat up on you… physically or emotionally. Remember I left too Lucas."

"You left because you had to."

"And you left because you felt you had to." Derek looked into Lucas' eyes and shrugged. "The reason I came back is to be there for Peyton because I honestly believe that she needs me and I made a promise to her that I would always come back." He replied.

"Unlike me right," he asked.

"I don't have to beat you up Lucas, you're doing a great job all on your own. Are you sure you don't feel guilty about something?"

"I'm happy! I'm engaged to a really wonderful woman. I've moved on. What do I have to feel guilty about?"

"What indeed?" He shot back. "Maybe because as happy as you are… as much as you've moved on, you're still that guy I met four years ago who is still aching to save Peyton." He pointed out. There was a moment of silence as Lucas thought over his words. "Or maybe I'm wrong." He smiled. "I'll see you around Lucas."

Later that day…

Sitting alone in the studio she listened mindlessly to Mia's tracks. It wasn't that the girl wasn't good… she was great but she just found it extremely hard to focus at the moment. All the steps that she had taken in her life just seemed like such a waste when she looked around at where she was.

She knew she shouldn't feel that way. She had learned quite a bit in the last few years but none of it seemed to matter anymore.

"Penny for your thoughts." Looking up she smiled slightly at her brother.

"Hey you; what have you been up to?" She asked watching him walk further into the studio.

"I went to see Lucas." He replied not one to hide his intentions for any reason.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I'm sorry… what?" She asked.

"I went to…" He began again.

"I heard you! Why would you do that? Why did you do that?" She asked feeling the panic rise in her chest.

"Because I wanted to see for myself."

"See what?" She asked beginning to pace the studio with her hands on her hips.

"I wanted to see if you were wasting your time by being here… in this town… wanting to know if he still loved you."

She stopped and turned her eyes on him. "…and?" She asked. "You know what…don't answer that because I don't want to know." She stated quickly. Looking down at her fingers she played with them absently feeling the smirk come to her lips. "It's pretty pathetic huh? Here I am still wondering… still wishing that he loved me." She laughed sardonically at herself placing her hands on her hips as she turned to face him. "Man! I used to be fearless and now…" She began when he cut in.

He stared at her for a moment. "What would you do if I told you that he didn't love you anymore? What if I told you that whatever you two shared just wasn't there anymore? What would you do Peyton?" He asked bluntly.

She opened her mouth about to speak when he cut her off again before she could reply. "I don't want the noble answer that you've been giving to everyone else either. I'm not looking for that! I want the honest truth from you. What would you do Peyton?"

Lower lip quivering and tears shining brightly in her eyes she swallowed hard. "I would… I would fight for him." She saw him smile in response.

"Well… then him loving you should make it easier to get him back." He remarked. "Come here." He stated taking her into his arms. "I just needed to make sure."

Pulling back slightly she stared at him. "Of what?"

"In case you didn't know… you're still fearless and nothing… nothing at all has changed that." He remarked with a small smile.


	5. Motivation Be Thy Enemy

So yeah… it's been forever since I updated but hopefully I can keep my inspiration and keep writing this story… wish me luck

So yeah… it's been forever since I updated but hopefully I can keep my inspiration and keep writing this story… wish me luck!

Gravity

Chapter Five: Motivation Be Thy Enemy

Placing the finishing touches onto the gourmet breakfast that she had ordered in she didn't hear Derek make his way down the stairs.

"You did this all for me; you shouldn't have." The older man smiled watching her jump slightly at his presence.

Giving him her best dirtiest look she smirked. "You know the maturity level in your family is astonishing." She muttered.

He chuckled slightly grabbing a strawberry from the fruit basket and popping it into his mouth even as she reached out and swatted at his hand. "So… really do you do this every morning? You don't really strike me as the 'Suzie Homemaker' type." He remarked accurately.

She cocked her head to one side, placing her hands on her hips as though offended by his words. "And what is that suppose to mean? How would you know what kind of girl I am?" She shot back.

Raising his palms in defense he sighed. "I'm not trying to insult you Brook. I'm just making an observation." He remarked. "I have been at war for too long to have to do it here." He stated off-handedly.

She stared at him for a moment. Growing serious at his statement she realized that in truth he really had been at war. "What was that like?" She asked softly.

He looked up at her for a moment caught off guard by her question. "Well…it's not like the movies… it's not like the training that I went through that got me there… it wasn't like anything that I had ever done or seen. It was… it was… everything that I thought it would be only different." His voice was low but firm. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's so much more… so much more than I thought it could ever be… and it will be with me… forever." He remarked. "You know when you go off to war a small part of you wants to come back a hero… but once you're there… in the middle of it all… it's nothing like that. There is nothing heroic about war. Seeing those that you have come to know fall beside you… knowing that they will never see another day… knowing that the next sunset could be your last… it's so much… sometimes… it's too much." He finished softly. Looking up he could see the tears shining brightly in her eyes which unknowingly mirrored his own.

"Well… I think you're a hero… for going… and for coming home." She remarked softly.

He gave her a small smile. Looking around he sighed trying to break the moment not comfortable with revealing so much to someone he barely knew. "Well… seriously did you really make all of this?"

She scoffed looking at the fancy breakfast laid out. "Oh please… I'm a top fashion designer… I ordered this food from New York and had it flown in this morning." She stated with a smile of her own.

Shaking his head he pulled out a chair for her gesturing for her to take a seat. "You know Brook, Peyton doesn't need a 7 course breakfast to get through this. She's going to be fine."

She raised an eyebrow as he sat down. "I know that. This has nothing to do with Lucas." She shot back quickly.

He could tell by her tone that she was lying about that. "You know you're a terrible liar." He shot back.

"You know you're the first person to ever tell me that?!" She countered with a smile.

Grabbing a seat across from her he sighed. "I thought you said that Peyton and Lindsey came to a truce that night you were locked in the library together…" He reminded her.

She shrugged absently. "They did."

"And you said that Peyton seemed okay. I mean since then she's been focusing on Mia's music… landing that deal with her former boss… she's flying high right now."

"I know." She stated. "But that was before."

"Before what," he asked.

Taking a moment as if deciding on whether or not he could be trusted she reached into her purse and pulled out the small white envelope and handed it to him.

He noted the fancy script that had her name on it and knew what it was before even opening it. Lifting the flap he removed the single sided card from its casing. "You and a guest are cordially invited to the upcoming wedding of Lucas… Eugene?" He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "Eugene?" He asked.

She shrugged absently. "Maybe it's a family name or something… I don't know."

With a heavy sigh he placed the invitation back into the envelope and gave it back. "Okay… so you're thinking this breakfast is going to soften the blow of the invitation… that's if she got one."

"She got one!" She stated pulling the other envelope from her purse. "I'm thinking I may not give it to her."

"You can't do that."

"Why not? As a matter of fact I might just find myself needing some serious R&R that weekend and want the company of my best friend… Maui is really nice this time of year you know." She pointed out.

"And you're just going to miss out on his wedding?! You wouldn't do that."

"How would you know?"

"Because… because you care too much." He remarked honestly. "You care about the people around you. You have a big heart and you know that if you don't go to that wedding that would hurt Lucas and you wouldn't do that."

"But going will hurt Peyton."

"What's going to hurt me?" The blond asked coming into the room. She noticed the looks being passed from her brother to her best friend and sighed. "Oh God please don't tell me that you guys secretly hate each other… because that would seriously suck!" She joked slightly. "Ooohhh strawberries," reaching for one she stopped short seeing the two envelopes on the table that Brook couldn't hide. Her name on the top one she smiled slightly recognizing what it was. Picking it up she sighed. "They're pretty." She remarked.

"Look girlie… we don't have to go if you don't want to. I mean we can skip the entire thing and just…"

"And do what, Brook? You would feel guilty and miserable… and you wouldn't get to see the beautiful wedding dress that you designed. I couldn't let you do that... I couldn't do that to you... I couldn't do that to him." She remarked softly staring down at her invitation. Smiling slightly she looked back and met her brother's eyes. "So… do you want to go with me to a wedding?" She asked.

"If that's what you want." He stated.

"Well… I've got my date. What are you going to do Brook?" She remarked with a glint in her eye.

"Oh shut up!" The brunette remarked grabbing her friend into a hug. "I love you P. Sawyer." She whispered in her ear.

Meanwhile…

Straightening the tie on his tux he stared at his reflection in the full length mirror. "So… how do I look?" Lucas addressed the other men in the store.

"You look good… but not as good as me." Skillz stated winking at himself as he did a full 360 degree turn to check himself out. "Damn! I am sex personified!" He smiled.

Rolling his eyes he turned to his brother. "Can you believe this guy?"

"Don't hate man!" Skillz stated.

"Don't take this the wrong way man but he does make a tux look good." Nathan joked.

"So seriously… should I expect any drama at this shindig?"

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked.

"Well you did invite Peyton didn't you?"

"So what?"

"Nathan do I have to spell it out for him or would you like to?" Skillz asked with that trademark smirk.

"Oh come on. You can't be serious."

"He does have a point Lucas." When Lucas was about to protest the younger man stopped him. "I'm just saying… inviting Peyton may not have been the best move."

"She's my friend."

"She's your ex!" Both Nathan and Skillz stated at the same time.

"Not this again." Lucas muttered.

"Don't downplay what you know to be true, man. Peyton isn't just any ex. She's the ex! She's the one that got away and now here we are four years later and you gave her a front row seat to you marrying another woman. That's just asking for trouble."

"Please tell me you are not saying this to me. I love Lindsey. I'm marrying Lindsey. Nathan can you please back me up on this one?"

"Lucas the guy has a point. Most people aren't friends with their ex-girlfriend."

"The last time I checked Peyton is your ex too."

"But I was never in love with her." He remarked honestly. "In fact I didn't love Peyton until long after we stopped dating and I stopped being an asshole."

There was a brief moment of silence as the other two men thought back to the old Nathan. "True!" Both Lucas and Skillz stated simoultaneously.

"Look I'm marrying Lindsey and that's that. Peyton is invited to the wedding and IF she decides to come that would be great and if she doesn't… well it's not going to matter because either way… I'm marrying the woman that I love in one week and nothing is going to stop me." He remarked before leaving the room.

Walking over to Nathan they watched him go until he was out of sight. "Well I for one hope that P. Sawyer does stand up and say something at the wedding… I mean I love Lindsey as much as the next person… but my girl is Peyton, for sure!" He remarked.

Nathan simply sighed. The only thing he wanted was for all the drama to cease and by the looks of it… it didn't look like that was going to happen any time soon!

A few hours later…

Throwing shots on the Rivercourt to work out some of his frustration he felt the cramp in his side. He stopped for a moment cupping the ball under his arm while he attempted to catch his breath. That was a lot easier said than done as he watched the familiar black car drive up and stop. He could see her blond hair shining brightly against the afternoon light. The air was crisp as it only could be on this spring afternoon. Stepping out she shoved her hands into the pockets of the trademark leather jacket and came towards him.

He watched her walk to him feeling something in his chest tighten. She stopped in front of him staring into his blue eyes as though trying to see something that was hidden.

"Peyton…" He began not sure of what he was going to say.

"You know…I've been wracking my brain all day… for hours…ever since this showed up today." She remarked pulling out the invitation and holding it between her hands. "You know I just… I get that we are friends… I get that we've come to an understanding… hell I've even come to realize that perhaps…just maybe… fighting for you… fighting for us… well there really is no point anymore… because maybe there's nothing left to fight for…" She whispered softly looking up into his eyes the tears shining brightly in them.

He could see her pain… that broken smile that had haunted his dreams many nights in the past. He swallowed the lump in his throat realizing that here they were once again staring into an uncertain future. To be friends… lovers… or nothing at all; it was such a horrible place to be for them when there always seemed to be so much at stake and yet so much standing between them.

"But then I get this… and I just… I don't get it."

"What is it that you don't get?" He asked softly.

"I don't get why you would send this to me… was it just out of courtesy…something to send to be polite? I thought of that but you know for a fact that that's not us. You know me Luke… despite everything… despite what has happened you know me and you knew that if you sent this to me… that I would show up… so I have to ask you… 'why'?"

"Peyton…"

"Unless you want me there… unless you want to see if I'll stop you. Is that what you want Luke? Do you want me to stop your wedding?" She asked softly and suddenly the ability to breathe just became a whole lot harder!


	6. THe Unexpected Will Get You Every Time

Gravity

Gravity

Chapter Six: The Unexpected Will Get You Every Time

There was a moment of silence as he stared at her and she stared back at him not willing to break the contact. "Well?" She asked with raised brows not sure she had the capability of backing down now.

He blinked once… twice and then felt something inside him twist. "Tell me that you're kidding me. I mean seriously Peyton, do you really think that I would invite you as some sort of twisted way to sabotage my own wedding? What happened to you letting me go and wanting me to be happy?"

"I do! I do want you to be happy."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it!" He snapped.

"Okay listen to me… just listen to me for a second. I did not come here to fight with you. I came here for the truth, whatever that may be." She took a breath trying to stop a fight before it could begin.

"You didn't come here to fight with me but you say that I only invited you because I want you to stop me from making a mistake."

"Is that what you think marrying Lindsey is; a mistake?" She asked without being able to stop herself.

"No!" He shot back without hesitation. "Stop putting words in my mouth! God Peyton what is wrong with you? What is wrong with us? I invited you to my wedding because Lindsey wanted to be nice… and I thought that someway on some level we could be friends! Maybe I was wrong." He remarked quietly shaking his head.

She swallowed hard thinking about his words. "Maybe… maybe you were."

Running a hand through his short hair she exhaled a deep breath. "So that's it? We're just… we're done?" He asked, looking to her to give him a real answer.

She shrugged as she toyed with her fingers looking at anything but him. How did you just end something that you believed was meant to be? How did you just let go of one of the purest things that you had ever known? Exhaling a deep breath she let a humorless smirk grace her lips. "Who would have ever thought huh? You and I… just over… just like that? I mean Lucas, let's face it… do you honestly believe that you and I could ever be just friends?"

"I don't see why we can't be."

"You know why we can't be… it's all or nothing for us. That's just the way it is… the way it's always been and deep down you've always known that…"

"I just don't understand why it's so hard for us… I mean Brook and I…" He began when she cut him off.

"God Lucas; I'm not Brook and you're not Jake! This is us! You have always done this… you've always tried to ignore what's so obvious. You and I are one of a kind… what we have… is one of a kind and it's too important and too precious to try and make it anything less! Just for once stop lying to yourself… be honest with yourself; be honest with me!"

"I have always been honest with you! I've always told you exactly what I want… it's you that's always held back! You can't love me with one foot outside the door Peyton. You can't tell me that you want to be with me and then secretly wait for me to leave you!"

"I didn't have to wait long did I?" She shot back.

Shaking his head in disagreement he sighed. "That's not fair. I left because you kept pushing."

"I was holding onto you. If I never held onto anything else, I held onto you! You left me Lucas. You walked out on me after promising me that you never would so don't stand there and act like you're some kind of victim!"

"I left because you didn't want to be with me. I was promising you forever and you threw it in my face."

"Is that why you gave her my ring?" She asked suddenly.

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes unflinching. "You can't claim something that was never yours to begin with." He remarked coldly and watched her flinch.

The words were harsh and did exactly what they were meant to do… they cut deep.

Placing her hands on her hips in a sign of silent defeat she nodded. "Yeah… I guess you're right. It really wasn't mine… if it were… you could never give it to someone else and still look yourself in the mirror." She remarked and as she turned to walk away her phone rang. "Hello. He what? Okay Brook just calm down and explain it to me… No… it's okay; I'll be right there."

He watched her for a moment her body completely still as though afraid to move… afraid to even breathe… "Peyton… is everything okay?" He asked softly.

Turning briefly to look him in the eye, her own filled with tears, she swallowed hard and replied; "That was the hospital… Derek's been shot."


	7. What's Always Been True

A/N So I sort of went on hiatus for a little while and now I'm back… this chapter is a bit long in hopes to make up for the time that I was away… think of it as my two-hour special if you will

**A/N So I sort of went on hiatus for a little while and now I'm back… this chapter is a bit long in hopes to make up for the time that I was away… think of it as my two-hour special if you will. Hopefully you guys are still interested in this story. Enjoy!**

Gravity

_**Chapter Seven: Realizing What's Always Been True**_

The ride to the hospital was silent and filled with foreboding because as they both knew death wasn't a stranger to her… to either of them. Good people left them all the time; Keith… both of her mothers… it was just apart of life.

"I'm sure that he's going to be fine…" He began but she cut him off.

"Don't! Don't do that…. Do sit there and make false promises to me about something that you have no control over." She whispered softly.

"Peyton…"

"I'm serious Lucas. I don't want you to try and reassure me that he's going to be fine. I don't… I just don't want to hear it." She stated resolutely. Turning her head so she was staring out the window she watched the world pass by in a teary blur unwillingly to listen to anything or anyone until she saw him.

When they got to the hospital it was Brook who saw first. The blonde practically ran to the brunette. "What happened; where is he?" She asked.

"Down the hall; they're about to take him into surgery."

Before the words finished leaving her lips he was being wheeled out on a gurney. "Oh my God…" She moaned seeing the blood seep from the bandage over his chest. "Wait… wait that's my brother." She called out trying to get them to stop.

"Ma'am we have to get him to surgery." The doctor called out but it was Derek who stopped everything by grabbing her hand.

Looking down she stared into dark brown eyes that were barely open. "Hey…" She whispered trying to fight her own tears.

"Hey back… at you." His voice was strained. "Listen… listen to me…"

"Derek you… you have to go." The finality in her tone made him squeeze her fingers a little harder.

"Don't be afraid… don't be afraid for me."

She felt the sobs well up inside her and her body began to shake slightly.

"Whatever happens… you're going to be okay." He whispered his eyes beginning to close.

Leaning down she brushed her lips across his forehead. "I love you." Running the tips of her fingers across the top of his head she inhaled his scent… and felt as his hand released hers as he fell into the unknown.

Before she could take another breath they were wheeling him down the hall and into the nearest operating room.

She barely felt Brooke's arms as she wrapped her into her embrace. She didn't even notice as her legs gave out and she crumpled to the ground… she barely felt anything at all.

It had been a strange three hours… Peyton seemed to be on autopilot as she paced the waiting area for word on Derek's condition. She barely even heard the story that Brooke gave the police concerning what had transpired. It was all over a stupid disagreement while at the gas station… something about cutting in line and the demand of an apology… one word led to another and the next thing Brooke knew there was a shot being fired and Derek collapsing. It all sounded so stupid… so pointless. There was a chance that her brother could die over something so trivial and it made her so angry… it made her feel so cheated!

The comforting hand on her shoulder made her look up and stare at Haley. Taking a seat beside her friend she leaned in and hugged her close. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry Peyton." She whispered in her ear.

Reaching up she returned the hug. All of the tension between them disappearing in a matter of moments simply because, at the end of the day none of it really mattered; it was all so trivial. She hadn't even realized that they had been called. She wasn't sure if it had been Brooke or Lucas… Looking around she saw Skills in the corner with Mouth and Nathan, while Lindsey stood close to Lucas resting her chin on his shoulder. She was there for him… and he was there for her…

"Is there anything that we can do?" Haley offered.

Looking down at her fingers she smiled sadly. "Go back in time and change what happened today." She remarked softly.

"I wish I could Peyton… I really do." She remarked. Resting her chin on Peyton's shoulder she tried to comfort her friend. "I just want to say I'm sorry… for everything."

Looking over at her she knew what Haley was apologizing for but couldn't find any words to respond.

Before another word could be spoken the doctor came in. Looking around he gave an odd expression as he couldn't figure out who was related to the gun shot wound victim. "Who here is Derek's family?" He asked looking from one face to the other.

"That… that would be me." Peyton smiled seeing the questionable look on the doctor's face. It would have been funny if it hadn't been so terrifying. "How is he?"

"We removed the bullet and he's breathing on his own… now he just has to wake up. There was an excessive amount of blood loss and in cased like these it's not unusual for the patient to take some time to recover… let the body heal. His chances look really good and he should be fine… we just have to wait and see…"

"So… so what are you telling me; I mean… are you saying that… that he's in a coma?" She asked. The words came out in a rush and yet broken at the same time.

Staring into her eyes for a moment he nodded. "Yes… that's what I'm saying."

The tears were shining brightly in her eyes but her words were firm. "For how long?" It was clear that she wanted a definite answer.

"That's hard to determine at this time… there are a lot of factors to consider and…." He began but she cut him off.

"A few days… a week… a month? I mean what are we looking at here?" She asked. Her hands were clenched in fists at her sides because it seemed that was where all her strength seemed to be. Her eyes were fixated on the doctor in front of her but her focus was somewhere else…

"Ms. Sawyer…." The doctor tried again.

"Longer than that?" She asked.

Coming up behind her Brooke placed her hands on Peyton's shoulders. "Sweetie… please…"

"I need a date!" She stated not looking away from the doctor. "I need… I need a date… Brooke. I need to know… I need something more than… than…" Her words broke off as the tears fell onto her cheeks as those that loved her could only stand there and watch helplessly.

Three Weeks Later…

"You are my best friend… We are the same… inside. You know me… you understand me. You are the last… you are the only one left. So please… don't leave me." Peyton whispered into the lonely hospital room where her brother remained seemingly unaware of his surroundings. He hadn't blinked… twitched or done anything to even give off the impression that he could hear her… but she refused to believe that he couldn't. In her heart she knew that he could hear every word that she said… and that he was fighting to come back to the land of the living… to come back to her. Reaching out she grabbed his hand and held it in both of her own. Kissing it softly she no longer tried to fight the tears that came so easily now. "Please wake up." She pleaded softly.

So immersed in her own world she didn't hear the door open or Brooke come in. The touch on her shoulder made her jerk slightly. Looking up she sighed seeing her friend.

Brooke could see the exhaustion in Peyton's eyes… as well as the pain and desperation. She wanted so badly to be able to take the pain away… to take away her fear of losing yet someone else that meant the world to her.

"Hey… how's he doing?" She asked softly.

Looking back at the motionless face of her brother she smiled brokenly. "His cheeks look like they have some color to them… I think it will be any day now."

Brooke nodded. She had been saying that for the last three weeks. Her hope never seemed to waiver and it absolutely broke Brooke's heart. She knew the facts… knew that the longer Derek remained unconscious the less likely it would be that he would ever come back but Peyton couldn't believe that… wouldn't believe that.

"Hey why don't you go and get something to eat?"

"No I'm okay." She replied.

"Peyton you're not okay… you've been here all night… every night."

"No really… it's okay. Luke was just here a little while ago and he brought me something from the vending machine. I'm not hungry."

"Then how about a shower… maybe get some rest. I can take you home for a few hours." She offered.

Shaking her head she only continued to stare at the man before her. "I slept a little while ago."

"Where?"

"Here in this room. I told you I'm fine Brooke."

"You're not fine, Peyton. You're running on candy and other crap from the vending machine. You spend practically every minute here in this room. You haven't left this hospital for more than maybe two hours in three weeks. That's not fine Peyton."

"Don't!"

"Don't what? Sweetie I love you and I'm trying to help."

"Then leave me alone. I need to be here. I need to stay here for him. He needs me." She remarked heatedly.

"You need you! You need to go home get some rest… you're dying in here Peyton. Derek would not want that! You know it and so do I!"

"What about what I want? What about that? I want to be here for my brother… I need to be here just in case… just in case…"

"Just in case what?"

"Just in case he dies and I'm not here!" She shouted brokenly voicing her worst fear for the first time. "I wasn't… I wasn't there when Ellie died… and I just… I just know that if I leave him… if I leave him for even a second… he won't be here when I come back."

It was a shock to Brooke to hear her confession. She never once doubted that Peyton believed that Derek would awake… and now here she was admitting the very thing that everyone else was already thinking. "Peyton…"

"If he dies… I just… I won't be able to do it anymore Brooke. I won't be able to fight anymore. I just… I need him to live… I need him to wake up… for me." She whispered.

Coming to stand right behind her she practically lifted the blond up and held her in her arms. "He will Peyton… and he wouldn't leave you… not like this… you have to believe in that… you have to believe in him. You know how strong he is… he's going to come out of this. You have to believe. You have to trust." She remarked. "Just trust him." She remarked softly.

Peyton smiled… it was a small smile… but it was a genuine smile and that was all that anyone could ask for in that moment. "I'm uh… I'm going to get some air…would you stay with him?" She asked.

Brooke simply nodded. "Go… it's okay." She remarked and watched the blond walk out of the room hoping that everything she said was true… God help her if it wasn't.

Meanwhile…

Coming around the corner and heading for the bathroom she stopped short seeing Lucas and Lindsey having what looked to be a very heated argument in the hospital corridor.

"… what do you expect me to do; she needs me right now!"

"I need you Lucas!" Lindsey shot back. "I mean do you even see what's going on; do you even see what's happening to us? Do you even care anymore?"

"That's not fair!"

Looking away she exhaled a deep breath getting her temper back under control. "Lucas… I am sorry for what happened to Peyton. You know that I would never wish something like this on anyone… and I understand that you want to be there for her… but what about our life together? I mean, we are to be married in a week Lucas! One week and you're never home! You're always here… and when you're not you're mind is still not with me… you have put our entire life on hold… can't you see that?"

"She's my friend… If this were Haley…"

"She's not Haley. You were never in love with Haley! Lucas our life together is slipping away… and you need to decide what it is that you want… either you're with me… or you're here… but you can't be both… it's just not going to work." She remarked softly.

"Lindsey…"

"I'm serious Luke. I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life… but I won't be second… not to Peyton." She whispered tears shining brightly in her eyes. Leaning in she kissed his lips. "I love you." Turning on her heel she was down the hall and out the door with him watching her every step.

Keeping her distance she watched the other woman go until she was out of sight, while his voice drifted to the forefront of her mind…

"… _I want this… you know? I want to be here." He breathed the words out forcing her to see what he was really about… not just about sex. It was more than just sex for him, even then._

"_Luke… I'm sorry."_

"_For what?"_

"_All sorts of things."_

"_Good or bad… right or wrong… Peyton you know I'm going to love you forever. I would wait for you… even if it was the worst thing I could do… I would wait for you until the day I die."_

Coming back to the present she felt a small sad smile come to her lips… Tears filling her eyes for a future that never got to be she wiped them dry and made her way down the hall.

"Hey…" She whispered softly.

Turning around he stared at her for a moment. "Hey… are you okay? Is it Derek?"

Shaking her head negatively she cleared her throat trying to pull her thoughts together. "No… no change. Brooke is with him."

"Good… that's good. Is there something that I can do for you?" He asked.

"Yeah… come with me." She remarked reaching out and taking his hand. His skin made her flesh tingle and for a moment she stared at her hand wrapped around his. The warmness of him heating her cool palms made her throat close up if only for a second. Before she could dwell on it she snapped herself back to the present and gave him her best smile before leading him to the stairwell and to the roof.

Meanwhile…

Sitting beside his bed she watched his face. It remained impassive and peaceful. "Hey… so I know that you don't really know me. I mean it's not as if we spoke much the last time that you were here…hell I wasn't really speaking to Peyton at the time…" She smiled sarcastically. "God that seems like such a lifetime ago… it's funny how the things that seemed so important just… just aren't as important anymore and other things… the really big things sort of just sneak up on you and just… they change your whole life…" Reaching out she ran her fingertips across his hand. "You know when I found out that Peyton was still in love with Lucas… I was so upset… I was so angry… because in my heart I knew that it was over for me and Lucas. I knew that in the end it was always meant to be them together and I just… I didn't want to face that… and I couldn't forgive her for having someone like that in her life… never mind that I still had both my parents… alive and breathing and a friend that gave me the courtesy of being honest with me… I never thought about how scared she must have been… to be honest with me… to tell me the truth knowing that I might not ever forgive her… until now." Taking a breath she felt her heart accelerate inside her chest. "I'm not sure if she will ever forgive me if she finds out the truth of what really happened that day… if she finds out that it is all my fault and that the reason that you're here right now is because of me. She says that she needs you to wake up for her… well I need you to live for me… because I know in my heart that she will never forgive me if she loses you… I would never be able to forgive myself."

Meanwhile…

Coming to the roof they stared at one another for a long moment… or better put, Lucas stared at Peyton as she stared out at the morning sky.

_Something always brings me back to you_

_It never takes too long_

"Peyton… is there something wrong?" He asked.

_No matter what I say or do_

_Still feel you here til the moment I'm gone_

_You hold me without touch_

_You keep me without chains_

She exhaled a deep breath not turning around… not able to look at him. "Do you know… that I remember every single moment that we've ever spent together? I remember every single word that you've ever said to me since the moment we first spoke." She confessed softly. Turning so she was facing him she looked down at her hands as a sad smile came to her lips.

_I never wanted anything so much_

_Than to drown in your lobe and not feel your rain_

_Set me free_

_Leave me be…_

"I know every smile that you have… every look of your eyes…. When you're mad… sad… confused… I can just look at you and I can tell." Finally she looked up caught his blue eyes staring intently at her. "I made a promise to myself a long time ago… that if I ever found someone that understood me… that could love me as much as I loved them… I would never let them go… and for the longest time I just always believed that that person had to be you… because you don't have a connection like we have every day… it just doesn't happen… so how in the world could I ever let you go when we were obviously meant to be?"

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am_

_And I stand_

_So tall_

"Peyton…"

_Just the way I'm supposed to be…_

_But you're onto me_

_And all over me…_

"But the truth is Luke… if what we had was so great… and so beautiful then how did we end up here? I mean I've asked myself a million times why didn't I just say yes that day? Why couldn't I just marry you and live happily ever after and at the end of the day the answer is always the same… I just wasn't ready… and you couldn't wait. I get that now… I understand that now."

_You loved me cause I'm fragile_

_And I thought that I was strong…_

"You didn't believe I would love you forever?" He asked her his heart breaking in the sound of his own voice.

_But you touch me for a little while_

_And all my fragile strength is gone_

_Set me free_

_Leave me be_

"I didn't believe I could be loved forever… God Lucas look at my life. Every person that I've ever let in has died… lives half way around the world… or they come back and get shot. I'm starting to think I'm cursed… and let's face it, it was just a matter of time before something happened between us." She smiled sardonically.

"You can't really believe that Peyton."

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity_

_Here I am_

_And I stand_

_So tall…_

Shaking her head she sighed. "It doesn't matter… you know you always ask me what you can do for me… you want to know what I want?" She asked. He nodded. "I want you to be happy… I want you to go and live your life Luke… go and live your life and stop waiting around for a girl who may never get her act together." She remarked. "Stop coming to save me… stop thinking that you have to."

…_just the way I'm supposed to be._

_But you're onto me,_

_And all over me._

He sighed looking away from her for a long moment. "Saving you has been one of the most constant things in my life. Loving you… waiting for you… it's always been apart of my life…even when I've tried letting you go."

_I live here on my knees_

_As I try to make you see that you're_

_Everything I think I need_

_Here on the ground_

"And I loved you for it…but it's not fair to Lindsey… it's not fair to you or anyone else that wants to love you."

"So then… this is it?"

_But you're neither friend nor for_

_Though I can't seem to let you go._

_One thing that I still know…_

Walking over to him she reached out palming his face in her hands… "I will always love you Lucas Scott… right or wrong… from now until the day I die…"

_Is that you're keeping me…_

_Down…_

With one final smile she turned and walked away not allowing herself to look back.


End file.
